just when i thought he had totally forgotten about it, he did. but he still talked to me.

the most freaky thing was, when he suddenly talked to me, my body started to act up again. my whole body started to shiver so badly that i couldn't do anything. i couldn't type, and i couldn't think straight, and everything was just a blur, i put in all that i have to focus on getting a grip on myself. and yet i was trying to keep my composure while talking to him. my hands were shaking, my legs were trembling, my stomach hurt a hell lot and it got so bad to a point where i'd curl myself up into a ball and try to get a control over myself. i don't know why this always happens, and it's just scaring me, this uncontrollable shivering.

but anyhow, i still kept cool and talked to him like everything's fine. he doesn't have to know anyway. somehow online we started on a really bad note and i got really pissed halfway. i seriously thought that i was going to lose it and break down or just blow my top at him and start to be damn emo. but hell, why should i?

then we started sms-ing for a while. i read his sms-es one last time, cried, and went to sleep.

yet everytime i talk to him i still think he's just perfect, everything that i want. yet it's hard to believe that i had him one moment, and the next minute he walks out on me. but i still think he's just right for me, the best i could ever have, even after all that he's put me through.

i think i've let myself fall too deep, and now i'm unable to get out of it.

{ C }
the kind of girl who mopes around about stuff ALOT
& somedays on mute mode

A LEFT-HANDER WHO FEEDS ON JROCK :D

Is a caffeine addict, & doesn't mind giving up talking for good. With not much self-confidence to start with, her ugly teeth upset her a lot but she plans to do nothing about it. Cheap thrills include rainy days, graphic designing, writing & a little dosage of her jrock darlings. Can conjure up some really good shit in her mind sometimes, but has problems putting them onto paper and into reality. Overall an average kid who's neither here nor there in everything she does, & gets bothered by it sometimes. Has trouble finding her direction in life. Mostly negative and wishes to be more apathetic. Currently finding a way to start a new life in Japan, with a different name.

Still likes to talk to inanimate things like her stuffed penguin.

♥REITA,
just because.

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